you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
