plz talk dirty to me
He felt like a one man threesome
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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