is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
