That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
