There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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