The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
