I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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