You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Randomize
