singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Randomize
