who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
