there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
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