I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
