let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
