Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
