I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
