My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
