I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
