This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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