Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
