hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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