currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
