You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
We had sex on a dog bed..
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
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