It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Did you pee in the oven last night??
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