Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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