this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
