WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
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