You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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