she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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