At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
