we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
