WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
do herpes really smell.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Randomize
