In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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