You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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