So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
