i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
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