i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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