dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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