I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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