you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Randomize
