a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
