he shaved USA in his pubs
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Randomize
