I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
