You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
