Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
