Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
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