I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
