his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
