wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Randomize
