Your mouth is God's brothel.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
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