So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
