Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
