It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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