So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
