kristin has been a bad kristin
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
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