sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
