pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Randomize
