quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
