you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
