Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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