I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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